problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
