Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
