**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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