Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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