Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
