What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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