P.S. I can't hear my feet
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
