Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize