escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wear drunk well.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize