my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize