Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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