No, drunk sperm still make babies.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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