and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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