So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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