i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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