its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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