the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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