so that wasnt chicken after all
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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