Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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