a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize