An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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