i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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