Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.