You're my little dorito
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick