Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize