Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
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I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.