i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
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White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.