Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
handjob tips. give me some.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
