She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
