I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
