im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
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Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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