Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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