We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My dick has a subreddit
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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