So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.