i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.