God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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