We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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