I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize