Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
