I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
