No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
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A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
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It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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