eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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