I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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