An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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