I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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