well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
