I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize