so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
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