i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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