no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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