he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize