im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
