All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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